Jokes
Submitted by Kyle K., Waimanalo, Hawaii:
Sam: Imagine you’re on a deserted island surrounded by sharks. No civilization in sight. How do you get off?
Pam: How?
Sam: Stop imagining!
Submitted by Sam B., Brooksville, Fla.:
Rich: What kind of puns do pigs make?
Mitch: What?
Rich: The wurst kind!
Submitted by Erik E., East Lansing, Mich.:
Daffy: What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Taffi: What?
Daffy: Hailing taxis!
Submitted by Christine L., Denver, Colo.:
Jay: Why is the sea restless?
Mae: Why?
Jay: It has rocks in its bed!
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Submitted by Paul R., Dallas, Tex.:
Saul: How do you fix a broken chimp?
Paul: How?
Saul: With a monkey wrench!
Submitted by Derek P., Punxsutawney, Pa.:
Eric: What can go up a chimney down but can’t go down a chimney up?
Derek: What?
Eric: An umbrella.
Submitted by John H., Okemos, Mich.:
A book never written: “Down Low” by Aaron Space.
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Submitted by Emily S., Oswego, Ill.:
Bob didn’t believe that Fred’s dog could talk. So Fred asked his dog, “What’s on top of a house?”
“Roof,” the dog barked.
Bob wasn’t convinced. So Fred asked the dog how sandpaper feels.
“Rough.”
He still wasn’t convinced.
“O.K., who was the greatest baseball player of all time?” Fred asked the dog.
“Ruth.”
With that, Bob walked away, shaking his head in disbelief. The dog turned to Fred and asked: Was it Hank Aaron?”
Submitted by Nathan B., Oakton, Va.:
Jack: You should sing solo.
Jill: You think?
Jack: Yeah, so low I can’t hear you!
Submitted by Daniel B., Champaign, Ill.:
Tom Swiftie: “Time for a snack,” Tom snickered.
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Submitted by Robert G., Pacific Palisades, Calif.:
Jake: What did the bread do on vacation?
Drake: What?
Jake: It loafed around.
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Submitted by Nicholas B., Allentown, Pa.:
Nick: If a man was born in Greece, raised in Spain and died in America, what is he?
Rick: Dunno. What?
Nick: Dead.
Submitted by Michael D., Glade Spring, Va.:
Maury: What is yellow, weighs 1,000 poulds and has four legs?
Tori: What?
Maury: Two 500-pound canaries.
Submitted by Andrew P., Howell, N.J.:
Mickey: Do buses here run on time?
Ricky: No, they run on wheels.
Submitted by Ted G., Kansas City, Mo.:
A vacuum cleaner salesman told a farmers wife, “Ma’am, if this doesn’t pick up every speck of dirt in your house, I’ll eat what’s left.”
The lady handed him a spoon and said, “O.K. We don’t have electricity.”
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TOP 25 JOKES
BoysLife.org readers pick their favorite jokes
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- Where did they meet?
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- Illegal right turn.
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- I condemn you to death!
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- What I got.
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