Jokes
Patient: What did you do before you became a dentist?
Dentist: I was in the Army.
Patient: What did you do in the Army?
Dentist: I was a drill sergeant.
(167 votes, average: 3.4 out of 5)
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Daffynition: Toboggan—Why people go to auctions.
-- Submitted by Damien T.V., Olathe, Kan (127 votes, average: 2.8 out of 5) Loading ...
Josh: Why did the farmer run a steamroller over his potato field?
Phil: Why?
Josh: He wanted to raise mashed potatoes.
(164 votes, average: 3.22 out of 5) Loading ...
A book never written: “The Star- Spangled Banner” by Jose Kanusee.
-- Submitted by Jason F., Hillsborough, N.J. (139 votes, average: 3 out of 5) Loading ...
Pedro: What did Darth Vader say to the emperor at the auction?
Chasen: What?
Pedro: “What is thy bidding, my master?
(181 votes, average: 3.54 out of 5) Loading ...
Robert: What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?
John: I don’t know.
Robert: Tea-shirts.
(172 votes, average: 3.4 out of 5) Loading ...
A book never written: “Hot Rods” by Minnie Van.
-- Submitted by Jake A., Willmar, MINN. (151 votes, average: 3.09 out of 5) Loading ...
Dylan: What did the horse say when it fell?
Bob: What?
Dylan: “I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up!”
-- Submitted by Dylan H., Salt Lake City, Utah
(444 votes, average: 2.96 out of 5) Loading ...
Justin: Why did the chicken cross the ocean?
Dustin: Why?
Justin: To get to the other tide!
(229 votes, average: 2.83 out of 5) Loading ...
Santa: Knock, knock.
Elf: Who’s there?
Santa: Olive.
Elf: Olive, who?
Santa: Olive the other reindeer.
(271 votes, average: 2.62 out of 5) Loading ...
Josh: What does Jack Frost like best about school?
John: What?
Josh: Snow and tell.
-- Submitted by Joshua S., Lafayette, Ind.
(212 votes, average: 2.77 out of 5) Loading ...
Dylan: What did the horse say when it fell?
Bob: What?
Dylan: “I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up!”
-- Submitted by Dylan H., Salt Lake City, Utah
(171 votes, average: 2.84 out of 5) Loading ...
Jared: Knock, knock.
Joe: Who’s there?
Jared: Diesel.
Joe: Diesel, who?
Jared: Diesel be your last chance to open the door!
(180 votes, average: 3.17 out of 5) Loading ...
Lane: What kind of house weighs the least?
Jane: What?
Lane: A lighthouse.
(190 votes, average: 3.65 out of 5) Loading ...
A book never written: “Please Pass the Pie” by Slim Downey.
-- Submitted by John M. E., Knoxville, Tenn.
(154 votes, average: 2.43 out of 5) Loading ...
Brandon: What weighs four tons and wears glass slippers?
Bradley: What?
Brandon: Cinderelephant.
(161 votes, average: 2.75 out of 5) Loading ...
Keith: What’s a good time for Santa to come down the chimney?
Karen: What?
Keith: Anytime!
(186 votes, average: 2.44 out of 5) Loading ...
A book never written: “The Evils of Pasta” by Mac A. Roni.
-- Submitted by Cory A., Somers, Conn. (158 votes, average: 3.14 out of 5) Loading ...
Jim: What did the polar bear say to the caribou?
Tim: What?
Jim: “You must weigh a tundra!”
(171 votes, average: 3.06 out of 5) Loading ...
Clay: What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of an airplane?
Ray: What?
Clay: “Meeeeeee!”
(175 votes, average: 3.05 out of 5) Loading ...
Weston: If two’s company and three’s a crowd, what are four and five?
Austin: What?
Weston: Nine.
(175 votes, average: 3.17 out of 5) Loading ...
Joe: What nationality is Santa Claus?
Moe: What?
Joe: North Polish.
(164 votes, average: 3.07 out of 5) Loading ...
A book never written: “Too Close to the Fire” by Rose E. Cheeks.
-- Submitted by Johnathon B., Troy, Mich. (159 votes, average: 3.71 out of 5) Loading ...
Justin: Knock, knock.
Colton: Who’s there?
Justin: Freeze.
Colton: Freeze, who?
Justin: Freeze a jolly good fellow…
(172 votes, average: 2.83 out of 5) Loading ...
Rebecca: Knock, knock.
Alex: Who’s there?
Rebecca: Anita.
Alex: Anita, who?
Rebecca: Anita another knock-knock joke. I’m all out.
(158 votes, average: 3.32 out of 5) Loading ...
A book never written: “Let’s Go Hiking!” by Iva Blister.
-- Submitted by Thomas C., Indian Head Park, Ill. (157 votes, average: 3.53 out of 5) Loading ...
Teacher: Johnny, define claustrophobia.
Johnny: Fear of Santa Claus?
(209 votes, average: 3.68 out of 5) Loading ...
Monica: Where did your mom go for her vacation?
Josh: Alaska.
Monica: Never mind, I’ll ask her myself.
(188 votes, average: 3.35 out of 5) Loading ...
Matt: What did the shovel say to the hoe?
Nat: What?
Matt: “Hi, hoe!”
(237 votes, average: 2.38 out of 5) Loading ...
Pedro: I rearranged my bedroom furniture so now I can lie on my bed and watch the sun rise.
Ordep: Big deal. I can sit on my couch and watch the kitchen sink.
(228 votes, average: 3.53 out of 5) Loading ...
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>> Click here to submit your joke
TOP 25 JOKES
BoysLife.org readers pick their favorite jokes
- Four men waiting in the hospital
- Pa won’t like it
- One smart dachshund
- Don’t step on purple mushrooms.
- God is watching.
- Where did they meet?
- Highway 75
- Junior and the nickle
- Are these plates clean?
- Play golf with Jeff anymore
- Are bugs good to eat?
- Illegal right turn.
- Reporting a flood.
- The untactful sergeant.
- A parrot at the auction.
- Report Card
- Dumb Dog
- I condemn you to death!
- Applying for a lumberjack job.
- This is my seeing-eye dog.
- 3 boys in a candy store.
- What I got.
- A man escaped from prison
- Dear Dad, $chool i$ great.
- Uneaten bread.
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