Jokes
Joke of the Day
Sam: Imagine you’re on a deserted island surrounded by sharks. No civilization in sight. How do you get off?
Pam: How?
Sam: Stop imagining!
(1 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
Loading ...Rich: What kind of puns do pigs make?
Mitch: What?
Rich: The wurst kind!
(35 votes, average: 2.34 out of 5) Loading ...
Daffy: What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Taffi: What?
Daffy: Hailing taxis!
(36 votes, average: 3.56 out of 5) Loading ...
Jay: Why is the sea restless?
Mae: Why?
Jay: It has rocks in its bed!
-- Submitted by Christine L., Denver, Colo.
(47 votes, average: 3.57 out of 5) Loading ...
Saul: How do you fix a broken chimp?
Paul: How?
Saul: With a monkey wrench!
(61 votes, average: 2.93 out of 5) Loading ...
Eric: What can go up a chimney down but can’t go down a chimney up?
Derek: What?
Eric: An umbrella.
(110 votes, average: 2.15 out of 5) Loading ...
A book never written: “Down Low” by Aaron Space.
-- Submitted by John H., Okemos, Mich.
(58 votes, average: 2.74 out of 5) Loading ...
Bob didn’t believe that Fred’s dog could talk. So Fred asked his dog, “What’s on top of a house?”
“Roof,” the dog barked.
Bob wasn’t convinced. So Fred asked the dog how sandpaper feels.
“Rough.”
He still wasn’t convinced.
“O.K., who was the greatest baseball player of all time?” Fred asked the dog.
“Ruth.”
With that, Bob walked away, shaking his head in disbelief. The dog turned to Fred and asked: Was it Hank Aaron?”
(51 votes, average: 3.92 out of 5) Loading ...
Jack: You should sing solo.
Jill: You think?
Jack: Yeah, so low I can’t hear you!
(79 votes, average: 3.14 out of 5) Loading ...
Tom Swiftie: “Time for a snack,” Tom snickered.
-- Submitted by Daniel B., Champaign, Ill. (78 votes, average: 2.68 out of 5) Loading ...
Jake: What did the bread do on vacation?
Drake: What?
Jake: It loafed around.
-- Submitted by Robert G., Pacific Palisades, Calif.
(100 votes, average: 2.8 out of 5) Loading ...
Nick: If a man was born in Greece, raised in Spain and died in America, what is he?
Rick: Dunno. What?
Nick: Dead.
(124 votes, average: 3.55 out of 5) Loading ...
Maury: What is yellow, weighs 1,000 poulds and has four legs?
Tori: What?
Maury: Two 500-pound canaries.
(137 votes, average: 2.56 out of 5) Loading ...
Mickey: Do buses here run on time?
Ricky: No, they run on wheels.
(133 votes, average: 2.95 out of 5) Loading ...
A vacuum cleaner salesman told a farmers wife, “Ma’am, if this doesn’t pick up every speck of dirt in your house, I’ll eat what’s left.”
The lady handed him a spoon and said, “O.K. We don’t have electricity.”
(186 votes, average: 4.03 out of 5) Loading ...
submit a joke
WHAT'S SO FUNNY? LET US KNOW
Boys' Life will send you this Collector Edition patch and your choice of $2 ($10 for Pedro's Pick), a Scout "Handbook" or a "Fieldbook" for each joke of yours we publish in the printed magazine.
>> Click here to submit your joke
TOP 25 JOKES
BoysLife.org readers pick their favorite jokes
- Four men waiting in the hospital
- Pa won’t like it
- One smart dachshund
- Don’t step on purple mushrooms.
- Highway 75
- Junior and the nickle
- God is watching.
- Are these plates clean?
- Are bugs good to eat?
- Where did they meet?
- Reporting a flood.
- The untactful sergeant.
- A parrot at the auction.
- Play golf with Jeff anymore
- Illegal right turn.
- This is my seeing-eye dog.
- Report Card
- 3 boys in a candy store.
- I condemn you to death!
- Dumb Dog
- Applying for a lumberjack job.
- What I got.
- Dear Dad, $chool i$ great.
- A man escaped from prison
- The insulting parrot.
YOUR PHOTOS
Post your funniest pictures
>> Click here to upload photos
>> Click here to see all the photos
